Well guys... there's something I haven't told you guys about myself. Before I was into the Sims I was an avid writer... Fantasy is my genre. I have written a novel, pretty much nearly finished, but it needs so much work and it was written when I was young. So it is not as mature as I would like it to be.
So last night I wrote the Prelude. It's... rough. Written in 5 mins. But my house mate liked it so I thought I'd share it... it may inspire me to finish this thing
ANY feedback is welcome. You can pick at it as much as you like - it will help me. If you don't get it, please tell me. Because this is the part of the book that explains what's happened to Lethis. If I need to go into more detail, I will. If I've left just enough mystery, that's good
So here is my rough Prelude. Please advise
Her skin was icy cold, wet beneath her back and thighs. She shifted her head to the side. Pain shot through her temple and she whimpered. A chill wind swept over her naked body and she began to tremble. She could hardly move. She began to weep. She still felt the phantom form of the blade in her right hand. What had she done?
“It’s alright,” said a voice. A large hand came down to rest upon her belly. Her entire body was suddenly warm. The hand burned her. It was not unpleasant.
She slowly opened her eyes. Looking down upon her was a man’s face, one which she remembered from very long ago.
“You... you are the mind reader from Gatthikka’s army...” she rasped. Was that really her voice?
He removed his cloak and placed it over her where she lay in the mud. “My name is Byre’kaal. And I am now the God of Fire. Do you remember? Lethis?”
“I am the Goddess of Innocence.”
“You were.” His expression darkened. “You fell.”
She tried to sit up. Her whole body ached. She had not felt pain since she had become a Goddess. Slowly, she began to realise what she had done. She had stabbed another Goddess and fallen from the Heavens for her crimes. But Byre’kaal... God of Fire... what was he doing here?
He shoved his hands beneath her thighs and upper back and stood up with her in his arms. She wrapped her icy hands around his neck and felt his skin smouldering beneath her touch. “You are so hot...”
“In more ways than one,” he replied, smirking. “And you, my dear, are of rare beauty. Don’t worry, Lethis. Everything will be alright.”
“Where are we?” She turned her head and looked around the muddy land. There was nothing here. Just mud and chill winds and silence.
“This is what became of the Field. Where once we fought each other in our Gods’ names.”
“It’s... there’s nothing.” She held on tightly as he began to walk. His boots sank deep into the mud. He kept walking, slowly but surely. His strength impressed her. Her head was spinning and her muscles on fire, but she could still admire him in all his physical glory. Byre’kaal had never chosen to Ascend into the Heavens. He had chosen to stay upon the Earth and rule in human form as a God. His power paled in comparison to that of an Ascended God, but he still held power beyond the imagination of a mortal man. He was immortal. He was the God of Fire.
“This is what became of this place. There is nothing left but the earth. It rains here sometimes. Nothing will grow. It is where the others will Fall.”
“You...” she looked into his bright orange eyes. They almost glowed. “You believe that others will Fall?”
He stopped. He set her down and wrapped the cloak around her properly. He looked her dead in the eyes. It took all her will power to not look away.
“They will all Fall, my dear,” he said. “And when they do... I will rule.”