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MadameLee
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PostSubject: my parents are driving me nuts!   July 30th 2012, 9:52 pm

My parents drive me nuts!

1.They say I constally mumble and I don't mumble. I hear the words come out CLEARLY when I talk but they sometimes make me repeat it and they think I might need hearing aids? Mom says I don't have enough breath. But I KNOW I have lots of breathe when i talk Like tonight I said "I put Arinica gel on a bruise on my leg" and mom heard me say something about "Monica and a bruise on my leg."

2. They wouldn't let me try to get a (crappy) job at a restaurants..I applied at 4 out of 5 choices. For various reasons:
1.crappy pay
2.I have skills
3.over-emotional behaviour/temper tantrums (I get easily upset)


I have tried to find a job in my area (Office Admin) but there are some limitians:

a) .I have to get a job in my area (Southern Ontario, around Oshawa)
b) the only jobs I can find are medical and I'm not trained for that (never got past Transcription class.) :x

or

c) I need a driver's license


3. My parents wouldn't let me go into Toronto on my own (probably because of police attidue toward people like me). Mom asks me this stupid question "What would you wont to do in Toronto?" I mean they aren't going to be around forever..they have several years left.. but I need to learn to be indepent. I was on the commuter train TWICE by myself in opposite directions (granted coming home once by myself, dad was waiting for me and in the other one going to Toronto?..I waited for mom at the station in Toronto)


" I want adventure in the great wild somewhere" and I want my parents to stop saying "No/where to go/ or that i'm only dreaming". I want to date.. I can't date since I still dependent on my parents for everything. I wouldn't find "adventure in my own backyard"

Mom drives me more up the wall then dad does. Mom keeps getting the peppers in half and stuff like that. So why should I even bother helping her if she doesn't let me learn? Since the point of ME being in the kitchen is to get BETTER at cutting peppers in half, taking seeds out of peppers,etc.

so is it any wonder that I rather fall into Disney movies or fairy-tale related media?
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   July 31st 2012, 12:44 am

I think your parents find it difficult to let you go. That's the only reason I can think about. But your parents must realize that you are already 22 and that you have to learn your own responsibilty. You need to find a job and later to move out.

I think the best what you can do is talking with your parents. Make notes of what you want and ask why they act like this. I know it is difficult to talk with your parents, but it's the best solution there is.

I hope this helps you a little bit. (I'm not very good in english so I hope that i have understand your problem right.)
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cecesaun1
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   July 31st 2012, 10:12 am

I agree, they have to let you go at some point and at your age it's past due time. I'm with you on the cooking thing, my Mom didn't want us cooking because she said, 'she had to eat too.' Lol! Of course I learned but mostly trial and error but otherwise she taught us well enough to be able to care for ourselves. I moved out of the house at 19 and got my first apartment. Admittedly it was a tad scary at first, and I was not aware of how much my Mom truly supplied the house like toilet paper, paper towels, you know, the little things you take for granted.

It seems also that your parents may have the hearing problem. If others can understand what you are saying and your parents are the only one's that complain or have to always ask for you to repeat what you said, I'd say it's them with hearing issues.

Are you an only child? That would explain their over protectiveness of you but still yet, you have to branch out on your own.

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MadameLee
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 4th 2012, 1:28 pm

Nope I have an (older) sister who gets a lot more freedom then i do. I mean during the year for the last 2 years (2010-2011, 2011-2012) I go bowling and the people there never seem to have any problems with me hearing, nor do people at church if I'm talking to them. I DO have hearing problems (lost major amount of hearing in my left ear last year) but my parents seem to have more hearing problems
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 4th 2012, 10:50 pm

I left home at 21 and stayed with my uncle for a year. Trust me, as soon as you leave your life will be 10000x better.
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MadameLee
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 4th 2012, 11:16 pm

well I would have left already, but one little hitch, I rely on others (adults, like Girl Guide leaders, teacher? ((can't remember this detail..)) or my mom, sister or dad to do my hair). I mean I have never packed my own suitcase or my kit for when I go away some place.

I have tried to talk to my parents but they think they know better but I believed they lived in residence when they went to uni, that's was how they met.
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 4th 2012, 11:30 pm

There's no talking to them. And the quickest way to learn how to look after yourself is to just do it. Find somewhere else that has a roof overhead and find a job ASAP, that's what I did. I suppose you don't have Centrelink / government assistance where you're from though, so much harder for you financially.
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 5th 2012, 12:27 am

Techinally I DO have (my own) money in the bank (got it from my very first and only "job"). But I'm too well attached to my family (Ie have the family-orient trait) that's why I sympathize with Mulan's "I will never be the perfect daughter, Know I know I wasn't meant to play this part /I see that if I truly were to be myself/I would break my family's heart"

But finding a job, is a problem for two reasons espically for a "special needs" person like me (unlike in the U.S., Canada hasn't done anything about the disabled getting jobs) 1) its still a bad ecomny and 2)other disabled people like myself have twice as hard a time getting a job since we are discrimated against. (http://www.moneyville.ca/article/1183044--griffiths-finance-minister-jim-flaherty-could-i-have-a-word)



the closet individualize assistant thing there is, is something called "L'arche" and well there's none within my area, and there never will be. The only houses for the program are in Toronto (and in Richmond Hill) and too me, that's a bit too far away for my liking when I want to stay with my Oshawa bowling league too (I THINK I have AS). There is a DSO ("Developmental Services Ontario) here.

Since the people I trust are my parents (even if they do drive me nuts) and people at the (pubic) library and people from church (two, well techinally three, but the last one, is "Special Needs" like myself) of which are on the bowling league.used to be more, but they left) and some of the other members of the bowling league (even IF I only been bowling for two years).


Last edited by MadameLee on August 5th 2012, 12:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 5th 2012, 12:34 am

I have a friend with cerebral palsy and he also has trouble finding a job. We have assistance programs here though, so I can understand your predicament totally.
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 5th 2012, 12:39 am

I gave some additional information about the closet thing that there is to an assistance program here in the post above you.
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 5th 2012, 1:13 am

I agree with everything Shyne said. Unfortunately love, nothing can or will be accomplished until you learn to become more independent. I left home at 17 and went for Paris. Razz But, I am a more independent person by nature. Your best bet would be to try to find the best paying job you can. Even if you have to scrape the crap off of public toilets, at least you have a steady stream of income. Then what would happen, is you would then excel at your job, which leads to promotions, raises etc. It's all about your success. Your parents can't provide that for you. Only you can do that. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 5th 2012, 1:15 am

Madamelee, you say that you rely on your parents to do your hair and different type of personal care...is it possible for you to ever be able to do these things by yourself? And you seem to handle typing very well, what about some type of job in that field? Maybe not try to find an apartment on your own, but look for a 'room' for rent, like a room mate situation. I know CP is on various levels of disability so I'm not sure of how limited you are, but I'm sure there is someway to be able to take care of yourself with just a tad bit of assistance also. In the US we have tons of programs for assistance like yours.

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MadameLee
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 5th 2012, 11:25 am

The reason I went into Office Admin program in college was because my parents thought I could type fast. But I don't think I'm really am "room mate" material since I sometimes to act like a two year old when I'm super mad and and not thinking.



I can: wash my own hair (and my own body), If mom's not around I can cook supper on the stove (with dad's help). Dad's a bit better then mom about me helping with supper. Dad lets me cut the pepper in half, and try to take the seeds out,etc. I can walk to the public library on my own, if I go to church, I can walk home on my own. When I DID go to college, I travelled on the public transit to and from the college on my own.
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 8th 2012, 11:58 am

The thing that really, really hurts me is the fact, that the week of the job fair for a (new) restaurant branch in town, mom said I could go to it, till the night before the job fair happened. When I told EVERYONE (church and bowling people) I would be going to a job fair? Mom might have let me have gone to it, if it had more then just the one company (Swiss chalet).
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 8th 2012, 12:18 pm

Awh. Sad... I'm sorry love. Now, I would never ever want to get you in trouble or anything. But, if you are 22, one should think you are mature enough to make your own decisions. I'm not saying to disrespect them or anything of the sort, but I think if you want to go the job fair, you should. It's a big step to get a job and earn income, and if they are holding you back, that's not fair. I hope everything works out. Smile
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MadameLee
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 8th 2012, 2:09 pm

expect now its too late to go to the job fair since the job fair was in April, and now it August.
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MadameLee
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 9th 2012, 5:02 pm

Dad's at it AGAIN saying I'm mumbling. I DON'T HAVING MUBLING PROBLEMS THEY' HAVE HEARING PROBLEMS AND CLAIM THEY DON'T.
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 11th 2012, 3:24 pm

i know how parents tend to see their children in a certain way, my advice do not try to make them just change their own oppenion about you ( the mumbling part you mention they think you are), because this will take as twice as your effort sweetie, focus this effort on trying to do something for your own.. if you feel you really can not live on your own right now, do not feel bad because for some ppl its not that easy and it could be like a life style. Try learning something and start selling it ( i mean try to start with something small that would make you feel more confident to your self and might make your parents look t you differently) but just do it for your self.. you need to just prove it to your self not just to your parents because they can not help it seriously because they wont change it.

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MadameLee
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PostSubject: Re: my parents are driving me nuts!   August 27th 2012, 12:16 am

They either think I'm 1)mubling 2)I don't have enough breath (and I can hear everything come out CLEARLY) and 3) they claim I don't say something like "I" at the beginning of a sentence. I just said to dad 5 mins ago I cleary said "I am going to be having a hair shower on Tuesday night" but dad claimed I imagined I said he said "I didn't say I" and then said when I did say I DID say "I" and then he claimed I imagined it. and I know I didn't imagine it they're are blasted (sorry) hard of hearing.


I have being doing stuff like cooking (with help) laundry (without help) this summer.
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